Title: Heard It Through The Heart Line
Fandom: Dishonored
Pairing: Gen
Categories/Genres: Alternate Universe, Humor, Crack
Length: Medium (7064 words)
Warnings: N/A

Author on LJ: [livejournal.com profile] eeveebethfejvu
Author Website: EeveebethFejvu


The Heart reveals many secrets about the world and the people around Corvo. Sometimes too many secrets.

If Corvo didn't know any better, he might even say the Heart is a bit of a gossip.


Dishonored is a terribly serious game. Certainly not one that comes to mind in association with words like 'humor' or 'punchline'. What little humor there is to be found is usually of the darkly cynical variety, as opposed to the lighter fare of, say, Portal and its sequel.

But with the addition of a single quirk, EveebethFejvu heaps hilarity and horror in equal measure on Corvo Attano's already burdened shoulders. As it turns out, Jessamine Kaldwin is even more of a gossip in death than she was in life.

My appreciation for this fic goes deeper than the admittedly hilarious details that the Heart reveals about the game's cast of characters. By laying bare all their secret thoughts, fictional or no, EveebethFejvu makes a point of reminding us that we are all more than we appear--that behind the transient glimpse of every stranger we pass on the street, or even the familiar face of a neighbor, coworker, friend, or family member, there is a life story that includes the good and bad, the exciting and dull, and any of an infinite combination of sexual proclivities ranging from the mundane to the exceptionally bizarre.

Heard It Through The Heart Line

Being Small by arrow (esteefee) (explicit)

  • Aug. 13th, 2015 at 12:13 AM
Title: Being Small

Fandom: due South
Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski
Categories: casefic, adventure, slash, crack
Length: medium, 6234 words
Warnings: none

Author on Livejournal: n/a?
Author Website: arrow (esteefee) on AO3

Summary: Being small is a real education.

Review: For reasons that do not need exploring at this juncture, Ray is now tiny. The reasons do not need exploring because Ray does not want to explain to anyone why he's suddenly the size of an action figure, only minus the Kung Fu grip. But let's just say there was a shrink ray involved (there always is) and no puns, thanks, because this is Not Fun.

So this is my second shrunk!fic rec of the day. This one serves added slashiness with the crack!

I mean, to be absolutely up-front about it, this is bonkers. There are no shrinking rays (ha. ha. HA!) in due South and Fraser is keeping Ray in his belt pouch and feeding him Cheetos. But there is action!tinyRay and arming up for battle at Toys-R-Us, with gratuitous vintage action figure references, and who can resist? So freakin' adorable and so much fun.

I should probably add that the smut happens once the size issue is resolved, although who knows, some of us may be disappointed by that...

Being Small
Title: Trouble shared is Trouble halved

Fandom: Haven
Pairing: gen
Categories: casefic, adventure, crack
Length: short...ah, dammit, it's just into medium, wasted opportunity for a size gag. 2247 words
Warnings: none

Author on Livejournal: [livejournal.com profile] tanaquific
Author Website: Tanaqui on AO3

Summary: When Nathan finds himself in trouble as the result of a Trouble, Audrey and Duke ride to the rescue. But, of course, this is Haven and things are never that straightforward..

Review: Duke tried to look like he hadn't been thinking it would be fun to gently push Nathan around with his finger once Audrey's back was turned. Maybe even pick Nathan up by the scruff of his jacket and dangle him from a great height. He didn't intend to do him any serious harm, just have a bit of fun....

So today's recs come as a result of a conversation yesterday about how I love shrinking fics (or shrunk!fic, depending on your preferred grammar). As a trope it is adorable crack and there should be more of it out there. Feel free to point me toward more in comments.

This cute lil' fic is an abbreviated casefile wherein Duke and Nathan find themselves on the short end of a Trouble, while Audrey basks in her customary immunity. It's freakin' adorable.

It's listed gen but the trio relationship reads as pretty fond and there manage to be a few Nathan and Duke moments packed into this mini adventure.

Trouble shared is Trouble halved
Title: Balance of Power

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: gen
Categories: action/adventure, crack, caper, time travel, post-canon
Length: super epic, ~328,000 words
Warnings: Only that it's left fairly open-ended, and the sequel looks to be in a permanent state of unfinished.

Author on Livejournal: n/a?
Author Website: Crackbunny Syndrome on fanfiction.net

Summary: Time travel. Conspiracy theories. Leylines. Pop culture crack and bad movie references. Hackers, ghost hunters and detectives, oh my! When crossing the gate, be sure to look both ways. Post series.

Review: "Maul?!" Ed asked. His eyes had gone wide as he stared around at all the different stores. The place was two floors high, bigger than any market he'd ever seen, and a cacophony of lights, sounds, and enticing aromas.

This is going back a few years now, to before the manga had an ending, before Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood had been made, and when the 'ending' for the series was that of the original anime and sequel movie Conqueror of Shamballa. This ridiculously epic gen fic, with its entourage of well-written original characters plus a surprise addition back-from-the-dead, is set after the movie, as a time travel incident propels Edward and Alphonse Elric into the modern world. They are helped to survive and navigate it by the dropouts, hippies and dissidents they meet along the way.

The story is a giant collaborative effort and exceedingly well written. The original characters and their voices are distinct. It's kind of the neverending fic, but it's also a lot of fun. According to the author profile, the plot was an accidental discovery, but I couldn't really tell, though it's in no hurry to rush enjoying all the gags about Edward in the modern world and the character moments along the way. It also has the capacity to turn surprisingly dark in its serious moments -- bear in mind that Ed and Al have time travelled from 1920s Germany, unknowing of the future that was to come.

Balance of Power

Sold Under Sin by Kangeiko (Mature)

  • Jun. 3rd, 2015 at 9:40 PM
Title: Sold Under Sin

Fandom: Transmetropolitan
Pairing: gen
Categories: crack, satire, gorn, journalism, bowel disruptors
Length: medium, ~3000 words
Warnings: All The Warnings. If you're familiar with the comics... Hey, if you can think of somewhere appalling, it goes there, ok?

Author on Livejournal: [livejournal.com profile] kangeiko
Author Website: Kangeiko on AO3

Summary: How to get screwed with your pants on.

Review: I think there is almost no meaningful sentence of this I can excerpt that will allow the review to keep a PG rating. Quite possibly there are moments with the potential to offend even people who've lapped up the grotesque gleeful technicolor offensiveness of the comics. It's glorious. (You may have to turn away from its gloriousness occasionally to gag or shudder.)

People who should know better want Spider Jerusalem to write an column on the economy. This fic takes the form of Spider's responding article, namely ~3000 words of vitriol spewed from the pen of the most obnoxious journalist on the face of the Earth.

The author does an awesome job of the Spider Jerusalem voice and in capturing the bizarre, vile world of the comics, with just enough thread of relevance amid the hyperactive excess to translate back to satire on the real world.

Sold Under Sin
Title: Blue Agents of Destruction

Fandom: Megamind/Lilo and Stitch
Pairing: gen, early hints of Megamind/Roxanne
Categories: crack, humour, fluff, crossover
Length: medium, ~6000 words
Warnings: none

Author on Livejournal: n/a?
Author Website: Dal Niente on fanfiction.net

Summary: Roxanne wakes up to find a strange creature systematically destroying her apartment.

Review: ...it had seemed harmless enough at first. And it had been cute -- it's still cute, never mind that it's shredding her sofa. It's gleefully enthusiastic about everything, and the cheerful burring noises it's making provide a rather strange counterpoint to the sound of rending cloth. Big ears, big black eyes, big nose, big grin? And fuzzy to boot. It's adorable.

State of my brain today demands I rec something with a high crack/fluff/cuteness factor, therefore have a meeting between the mutually blue and not-really-evil protagonists of two of my favourite animated movies.

Set pre-canon regards Megamind, when Roxanne Ritchie finds a blue, evil alien making itself a nuisance, and not even the usual one, she calls up Metro Man to help deal with the problem, as you do... only he's busy mid-crisis, but someone else overhears and surprises her by showing up to help instead.

I love the parallels touched upon here between two little blue dudes conditioned by society or creator to think of themselves as bad by default. File under 'crossovers that you didn't know needed to exist'.

Blue Agents of Destruction

Courtship (G)

  • May. 11th, 2015 at 7:41 PM
Title: Courtship
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Genres: Romance, Humour, Crack
Length: Medium
Warnings: None

Author on LJ: N/A
Author Website: N/A

Author's Summary:

A hilarious and heartwarming prompt fill from [livejournal.com profile] kinkme_merlin. A presumed dead Merlin returns to the kingdom, helps Arthur make peace through 'a little demonstration' of his magic to their fearful neighbours, and attempts to court him through the means of magical gifts; the most notable of these being a bunch of sparkly flowers with a lovely personality. Just pure fun.


Suspicious Behavior by saucykate (G)

  • Apr. 20th, 2015 at 2:25 PM
Title: Suspicious Behavior
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Naruto/Sasuke
Genres: Romance, Humour, Crack
Length: Medium (3,754 words)
Warnings: None

Author on LJ: N/A
Author Website: saucykate @ FF.net

Author's Summary:
In which Naruto trips over Sasuke, Sasuke turns various different colors, and there is a lot of arguing over the size of crushes. Now with 40 percent more insults!

Oblivious!Naruto slowly notices that Sasuke seems to be everywhere, turning up in his apartment, giving him weird looks, and acting strangely when Naruto exits the shower. This is a super-cute and funny get together fic with no canon-related angst in sight, containing a pining Sasuke who is miraculously still in character!

Suspicious Behavior
Sorry this is late. I had a family emergency that took me away from the internet for a few days.

Title: Like a Good Neighbor State Farm is there 'In a summoning pentagram'
Fandom: Insurance Company Ads
Pairing: Gen
Categories: AU, Dark, Crack, Humor
Length: Short
Warnings: Dark Verse, Human Sacfrificce

Author on LJ: http://kyraneko.tumblr.com/
Website: N/A

Summary: "Like a good neighbor State Farm is there," we chant, and another agent appears in the pentagram. He screams. The Dark Lord feasts tonight.

Review: This is an awesome short fic that brings all the different insurance commercials together. Tons of world building and characterization even if the fic is very short.

Like a Good Neighbor State Farm is there 'In a summoning pentagram'
Title: The Week The Sassy Pose Came To Camelot
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Genres: Humour, Crack
Length: Medium (3,500 words)
Warnings: None

Author on LJ: [livejournal.com profile] magog_83
Author Website: N/A

Author's Summary:

The author bases a Merlin fic on the illustrations in one of Enid Blyton's books, and it results in glorious crack. It's like a fic version of a Kate Beaton strip. I love it.

The Week The Sassy Pose Came To Camelot

Overheard by winged_mammal (PG-15)

  • Mar. 1st, 2015 at 12:18 AM
Title: Overheard
Fandom: Person of Interest
Pairing: Root/Sameen Shaw
Categories/Genres: Crack, Established Relationship, Romance, Humor, Outsider POV
Length: Medium (3584 words)
Warnings: N/A

Author on LJ: N/A
Author Website: winged_mammal


Root and Shaw have a tendency to forget the commlink is open. John really wishes they wouldn't.


winged_mammal used Outsider POV! It was super effective!

One of the common themes I've observed in Finch/Reese fic is the earwig connection that stays open at all times. Not unprecedented, given that it's been underscored more than once in the show. But as ever when you've got more than two people using the same network, sometimes you accidentally drop a few eaves that were probably best left alone.

Namely, Root and Shaw's very active sex life and all the flirting between them that alludes to it.

Finch and Reese are such champs about the whole thing, which I'm incredibly bemused by. Never once do they complain about the rampant flirting and naked innuendo, nor do they so much as bring it up to either of the women. Rather, they cut off their own ends of the connection when things get a little too.... heated. It's not just a source of titillation and embarrassment, though. Listening in on Root and Shaw through Reese's perspective, we also get a sense of the depth of their relationship.

Title: Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)
Musical Artist: Kelly Clarkson
Fandom: Die Hard 4: Live Free or Die Hard
Pairing: Matt Farrell/John McClane, Thomas Gabriel/John McClane
Categories: Action/Adventure, Angst, Alternate Universe, Crack, Drama, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Romance
Warnings: N/A

Author on LJ: [livejournal.com profile] talitha78
Author Website: talitha78


A John McClane/Matt Farrell slash vid set to a Kelly Clarkson song. I don't know what else to tell you.


So I've been sitting on this vid for, oh, a good two years now, perpetually thinking I'd already recced it. IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when I discover that I had not. No, imagine it. Imagine my wide-eyed cry of shock and the brief but unexpectedly intense spiral into contemplation of the fickle nature of memory. Are you imagining it? Yes? Good.

This is one of my favorite fanvids ever, not just because of the incredible skill with which talitha78 creates a genuinely plausible and definitely enjoyable story out of a mediocre movie and a Kelly Clarkson song, and not even because the clips are extremely well placed to narrate that story within the context of the lyrics. No, this is my favorite vid because John McClane is Kelly Clarkson. He is.

Go watch it. You'll see.

Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)
Title: Sue Sylvester: Matchmaker
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Kurt/Puck
Genres: Humour, Romance, First time, Crack
Length: Medium (7,607 words)
Warnings: None

Author on LJ: [livejournal.com profile] fakeplasticsnow
Author Website: N/A

Author's Summary:
The mere sight of Sue Sylvester is enough to make Cupid piss his diapers. That candy-ass little bastard doesn't stand a chance.

This fic is pure crack, and I love it. Sue Sylvester puts her enviable matchmaking skills to the test when a nervous Kurt seeks her advice, and she ends up picking Puck as the perfect match for him (through the medium of spin the wheel, of course.) What follows is a hilarious set of fool proof instructions that Kurt has to follow to snag Puck, outlined by Sue herself, with the first being the classic bend and snap. It's a fun, cracky journey that somehow ends up being both hot and touching. There's also a reveal of a surprise pairing at the end that had me bursting into laughter.

Sue Sylvester: Matchmaker

Three Drabbles

  • Sep. 16th, 2014 at 1:13 AM
Drabbles are hard. That's one reason why I'm a drabble purist; if it isn't exactly 100 words, you're taking the easy way out and I won't be impressed if you claim it's a drabble. You have just enough room to show an idea, set up a punchline or whatever, and making that sound plausible while still keeping to the strict word count is quite a challenge.

In an effort to have less words of review than actual content, I hereby offer you three drabbles from three different authors that I picked off Twisting the Hellmouth. All are PG, gen, and need no warnings. And they're all 100 words long, of course.

Title: The White What?
Author: P.H. Wise
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Dune
Categories: Crack, crossover, eugenics, real family

Xander has a powerful magical heritage that he is only beginning to discover...

"Real families" are a common trope in BtVS crossover fanfic. It offers an easy way into a crossover to declare that someone (usually Xander or Willow) was adopted/kidnapped/hidden, and have them discover or be discovered by their real (crossover) parents. This drabble is the reductio ad absurdam of that idea, and a caution to overly enthusiastic breeding programmes everywhere. The repetition at the end is a little weak, but I'll let it off that for a good idea well expressed.

The White What?

Title: What's in a Name?
Author: Speaker to Customers
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Star Wars
Categories: Crack, crossover, real family

An incredibly stupid variation on the 'Character X's Real Father' theme.

If "The White What?" was a reductio ad absurdam, this little gem is just plain absurd. If you're faster than me you might well see the punchline coming, but enjoy the concise, clear writing anyway.

What's in a Name?

Title: Hiding in Plain Sight II
Author: Marcus L. Rowland
Fandom: Highlander/Top Gear
Categories: Crack, crossover, driving, faked death

If Richie Ryan isn't dead, where is he?

Marcus is one of the most prolific drabble writers I know. I picked this story not because of the surprise idea — if you know anything at all about Highlander and Top Gear you'll have already guessed it — but because it's a great demonstration of how to structure a drabble to read naturally.

Hiding in Plain Sight II

The Wolf in the Woods by morrezela (R)

  • Sep. 2nd, 2014 at 1:18 AM
Title: The Wolf in the Woods
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Categories: Crack, fantasy AU, werewolves, future mpreg
Length: Medium (6,800 words)
Warnings: Be careful what you're drinking when you read this. Also, some swearing.

Author on AO3 favicon morrezela

Jensen is a baker who keeps getting accosted by a wolf with a sweet tooth every time he tries to deliver food to his grandmother’s house.

This wasn't the story I was going to review. I had another story in mind when I started paging through AO3 looking for the links. As usual I browsed as I went, because that's half the fun, and in the process I came across this one. Snorting hot tea is not recommended.

Yes, it's yet another Little Red Riding Hood parody, and Lord knows there are enough of those in the fandoms I read. This one however is written with such verve and sweeping silliness that I had to rec it. Honestly, it practically recommends itself; the writing is good and solid, consistently mildly absurdist in its humour, and the whole thing makes sense on its own level.

If this is what I get when I go "walking in the woods" of AO3, I really must get out there more!

The Wolf in the Woods
Title: Living, loving, and blowing shit up
Fandom: Inception
Pairing: Eames/Arthur
Categories: AU, Fluff
Length: Medium (3,136)
Warnings: None

Author on LJ: [livejournal.com profile] kiyala
Author Website: AO3 | Tumblr

Author's Summary:
College!AU. Eames shares a flat with Yusuf, who uses micropipettes to add milk to his tea. Eames falls in love with the American exchange student and drags him into this happy mess, with experiments in the kitchen and cats all over the place.

So a week and a day late (oops), I bear more AU fic. I'm incorrigible. I just really, really love AUs, okay, haha. This is a short fic, but it packs in it a lot of fun.

This one is adorable. It's little and sweet and it has Yusuf doing all kinds of manners of experiments in the apartment and nearly blowing them all up a few times. He also has many, many cats. And before you think this is the Yusuf show (which... I probably would not mind reading, haha, he's really great in this), you have Arthur the foreign exchange student and Eames who is roommates with Yusuf. And there is no angst here, okay, this is happy fun land where everything is great and shiny and the only spot of angst is very obviously not.

And sometimes you just need this, especially when it's cute and well written. Also, Yusuf is hilarious and awesome too. He measures milk with a micro pipette. He manages to get others to do so as well. He blows things up! For science! And the romance between Eames and Arthur is just fun and perfect. Just a great little fic to read, especially if you need a pick-me-up.

Living, loving, and blowing shit up

Speculate by Novelist Pup (PG)

  • Aug. 4th, 2014 at 3:51 PM
Title: Speculate
Fandom: D. Gray-Man
Pairing: Gen
Genres: Humour, Crack
Length: Medium (2,090 words)
Warnings: None

Author on LJ: N/A
Author Website: Novelist Pup @ FF.net

Author's Summary:
In which Tyki's glasses, for reasons unknown, break. And the Earl gives him a new pair that, for reasons unwanted, can see through clothes.

The summary says it all. This is a very cracky little fic about how Tyki decides to put his new glasses to use; on an unsuspecting Allen. The author has this labelled as Tyki/Allen, but it's more just perv!Tyki. So he's pretty in character! Perhaps this is why the Earl is always smiling so widely?


Trying To Communicate by copperbadge (PG)

  • Jul. 12th, 2014 at 11:50 PM
Title: Trying To Communicate
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Gen (Very minor Ianto/Jack)
Categories/Genres: Humor, Crack
Length: Short (1533 words)
Warnings: N/A

Author on LJ: [livejournal.com profile] copperbadge
Author Website: copperbadge


There's an alien in the Hub, and it's trying to communicate.


Fair warning, this is an entirely self-indulgent rec, chosen for no specific redeeming qualities aside from the way it tickles my fancy, being a long-time fan of science fiction and the Internet.

Reading about aliens, watching aliens on the movie or tv screen, playing video games, I've always wondered what actual aliens would think of humanity, particularly in this e-renaissance where the only limit on creativity is your available bandwidth. What would they think of the structured chaos of internet memes, or the billion and one cat gifs on tumblr? Why 140 characters? Less than three and semicolon close parentheses? Good lord, what would they think of pornography in all the myriad formats and varieties we create it in?

Personally, I don't much care, seeing as what they choose to think about us is well out of my hands, but fics like Trying To Communicate make it fun to wonder.

Trying To Communicate

Entanglements by Astolat (Nc-17)

  • Jun. 19th, 2014 at 10:51 AM
Title: Entanglements
Fandom: Thor (Marvel MCU)
Pairing: Loki/Thor, Steve/Tony/Bruce/Pepper, Natasha/Clint
Categories: AU, Crack, Family, Humor, Post-Canon
Length: Medium (18k)
Warnings:Non-Con(Sex Pollen), Incest

Author on LJ: [livejournal.com profile] astolat
Website: Astolat

Summary:Huh, was Tony's first thought when the spell broke and all of a sudden his brain came back online.

Review: I'm a sucker for sarcastic narrators, and Tony Stark's narrative on Loki and Thor falling in love, saving the world, and going on the home shopping network, is just hilariously sarcastic.

And just plain hilarious. There are lots of different parts to the story, which will keep you guessing through out, and you'll definitely be laughing every few sentences

Title: the people you meet (the things are also people)
Fandom: Doctor Who/Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Pairing: None
Categories: Humor, Crossover
Length: Medium (12,914)
Warnings: None

Author on LJ: [livejournal.com profile] significantowl
Author Website: AO3

Author's Summary:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has something to say on the subject of chance meetings.

Loooved this. If you're at all familiar with the Hitchhiker's Guide books (and if you aren't, just. Just go read them, haha) then this fic will be like stepping into an old home. A hilarious, tongue-in-cheek old home that makes bubbling feelings of joy appear.

It's very much in line with the Hitchhiker's books. Arthur is desperate for tea and goes after the Doctor because, of course, the Doctor has bought all of the tea. Seeing as this is Not Fair, he proceeds after the Doctor and bumps into Rose, who is wonderful and human and ugh, my love for Rose, people.

This quote is kind of perfect: "Arthur watched them, trying to work things out. So the Doctor was a member of an almost immortal and omnipotent species that didn't exist, and Rose was one of those people who followed you round a department store because you couldn't be trusted looking through the racks on your own? And together they knocked around the universe in a bizarrely large police box?"

There's not much that actual happens and yet the fic is still brilliant. If you're a fan of Hitchhiker's Guide and Doctor Who then definitely check this one out. If you're just a fan of one of the two... check this out anyway and it might convince you to pick up the other.

the people you meet (the things are also people)


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Length Guidelines

Short: under 2,000 words
Medium: 2,000-15,000 words
Long: 15,000-40,000 words
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